Monday, 23 November 2009

This Week's Rhetoric

A week has passed, so maybe now it's time to expand upon the nature of the product I'm selling.

Last week I said that I didn't know what artistic integrity means, but I do know what it is. Artistic integrity is just another form of currency - you just can't buy much with it, so the most practical option is to exchange it on some cash with some real market value. I have a pen and I have a keyboard. Sometimes I use these tools to write things down; things I want to inflict on other people. Rather than sitting around waiting for someone to offer to publish these things, I'm going to do it myself. If you want something to happen in the world, make it, because who else could possibly care enough about you to do it? Your mam, probably, maybe even your dad too, but you can bet you'll outlive them if you haven't already, so why wait around for Tony Blair of the Penguin Publishing Association of Suits and Fucking Dickheads to offer you something? If I can prove that I am creating marketable products, Tony Blair is bound to want a piece of the action and he'll come to me. Maybe I'll cut him in on a slice of the literary pie or maybe I'll give him the option of sucking my balls. That is the meaning of free-will. Grip your life firmly in both hands and wield it like a double-edged sword.

You, then, are being primed to buy my book. Some material already exists for it, and if enough is created before the End in 2012, it will be available for purchase from somewhere in some form. It's a strict time-frame to work within, I know, but it should be long enough to have gathered a following of people all too ready to consume. Maybe you can even expect a sample of fiction in the near-future. I don't know whether or not you do enjoy reading this, but I do know that you'd rather be spending your excess on this miniscule proportion of the mindless shit that the internet has to offer than switching on and actually doing something productive. If I seem resentful, don't be upset, for I truly appreciate you passivity. What hope would any writer have if people weren't so lazy that they'd rather accept the passive role of consumer than the aggressive role of creator?

The writer is the assailant and the reader the victim.

Eyes to the skies and await the next chapter.

Synthesise or Liquidise

I don't like that I am writing this blog and I don't like you for reading it. But this is the 21st Century, and if you want to get anywhere in a creative industry, you're an idiot if you don't utilise the internet. The porn industry is the biggest, most financially successful in the world because it sells through the internet. Hollywood fights the internet, which is ironic because if Hollywood has taught us anything it's that you can't beat the machines. I'm not trying to sell anybody a porno but, in the not too distant future, I will be trying to sell you something. Maybe I'm compromising my artistic integrity by writing this blog, but fuck artistic integrity, I don't even know what it means. It's better to form an alliance with the machines now of your own free will than to be crushed by the robot fist for resisting when thy take over in 2012. For now, this is as close as I can get to being part man, part robot. I could get a bionic arm, because they are getting pretty sick these days, better than the real thing in many ways, but I'd be some chump to get another arm when I could just wait for technology to progress far enough for me to upgrade with a robotic scorpion tail. As a wise man once wisely said: "Man and machine getting into things". No, I'll just be patient and post something here now and then, until the day comes when I have produced something existing in space that the following I have amassed through the internet can buy.

Well, that should serve as an introduction to this post and my entire blog. I don't really read blogs, so I'm not sure what people expect from them, maybe emotions and opinions or something. If that's what you want, here you go: I had an emotion today; in my opinion you should do something else.

Prepare for the next installment and may the Gods of Respect and Positivity go with you.