Saturday, 1 May 2010

How to Vote

With all of the politics going round, people are getting pretty confused. Everybody keeps saying: "how do I vote?" Well, the few people who have discovered the internet and are reading this blog are about to find out.

The trick to voting is not to get distracted by any of that "who do you want to run the country" bullshit. That's just propaganda. Every vote that gets voted goes straight to the Man, so here's your chance to tell the Man exactly what you think of him. But the Man doesn't want to listen to you so he makes you think he's listening by saying "Hey guys, I'm listening. Just tell me which one of these suits you want to see on the news the most, and I'll put him there." Well, fuck that. I don't watch the news, and neither should you. In fact, if I switch on the TV and see someone wearing a fucking tie, I change the channel.

So here's how to make your vote really count: Get a marker pen and write on the voting sheet FUCK YOU BLAIR. It's no good everybody writing something different, because then nothing will change, so make sure you write exactly that: FUCK YOU BLAIR (Don't forget to select Times New Roman and to hit shift B and I first, so all the handwriting is the same too). If the majoriy votes for FUCK YOU BLAIR then Tony Blair totally has to fuck himself - that's the law. That will mean that every time the news is on, it won't be fucking suits talking about boring shit like taxes and hospitals, but Tony Blair fucking himself.

If you're reading this, you are the resistance.

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