Let's do this Right

I’m not certain and you’re not sure.
We’ve both loved people
We wish we’d never met before.
I’ll try not to be one of them,
But I can’t promise even that,
And what I feel now
May one day be
A memory I’m just angry at.

But sure, why not?
What the hell is there to lose,
But time and patience, self-respect and independence?
Aren’t those things all just second prize
For people with nobody by their sides?
I don’t believe that
But if you do,
I’ll lie and say that I do too.

Let’s do this right or not at all.
Let’s do this right and just admit,
Neither of us think the other is a perfect fit.
We know we could find someone better;
Someone smarter, someone slimmer,
Someone like her from off the telly,
Or like him from in that book I read,
Or maybe just someone who’s not too proud,
To get down there and give me head.
So let’s not feel we have to settle;
If we’re not happy now,
We won’t get more so -
Let’s just not bother after all.

And if perchance you should feel lonely,
Just remember this one thing:
Happiness never was a door
Marked “couples only”.